The Summer Blues

Honesty time...

I hate summer and can’t wait for it to end... I want the fall and winter back. At least for now. 

As I scroll through social media, jealousy slowly starts creeping in, and it makes me feel sad. I see photo after photo of friends and family relaxing at the beach with their children who are playing in the sand and water. I see them on their family camping trips, at outdoor festivals with ice cream covered faces, the zoo, cookouts and hiking. They are all enjoying these beautiful warm summer days, making memories that will last a lifetime... 

I then look up at my child, who is quietly laying on the floor in front of the air conditioner, playing with his train set. He looks pretty content, but then again, this is all he knows. He doesn’t know what he has to miss out on because of his condition. He doesn’t know the dangers of him going out in this kind of heat right now, so staying in doesn’t seem to phase him at all. Many people may comment and say, “Well that’s a good thing!”... but is it, really? I mean, he is a typical toddler boy, who loves the outdoors (when he can actually enjoy it), and loves helping his father in the yard and getting dirty... so shouldn’t he be out there exploring the world around him?? 

Just a boy and his dad <3

Now, I’m not saying that we don’t have our own family fun. We try to do the best we can, take great advantage of the not so hot summer days when Avery can actually be outside, and just make things work the best we can. It is not as easy as you may think, though, especially when you are on a one income budget for a family of four, and most fun indoor activities cost money. But we try. It is also not so easy when others get upset because they don’t understand that when it is this hot outside, just walking out the door could put your child at risk for overheating, so we have to skip out on outings with family and friends. And no, that is not an exaggeration. That is the god honest truth. We have given up on getting others to understand, though, because unless you live it every day, you will still have no idea. 

When Avery was born, and our little family was complete, George and I would talk about all the fun things we want to do with the kids...camping, boating, fishing trips, summer getaways to the ocean...but now we have had to put that all on hold. What’s more frustrating is that we have no idea how much longer it will be like this, because even when he transitions to the brace, we will still need to keep him out of the heat. From the beginning I was told that this journey is much harder on parents. I am now seeing why. It breaks our heart that Avery can’t have a “normal” childhood right now. 

I am not writing this for pity, because believe me, we are possibly one of the strongest families you will meet and can get through anything together. I am writing this because I want other families who are going through the same to know that they are not alone in this journey and how they feel. I also want them to know that it is ok to have these feelings. Just remember, when you do have those feelings, not to get lost in them. Step away from any social media account you have, and take a mental break from the main source of these feelings. Bring yourself back into the present moment, and make the best of these days, because before we know it, our babies won't be babies anymore. 

Thank you to all who continue to follow Avery's journey, and for all of the love and support.