Walk a Mile In These Shoes...

Today was not one of our best. Avery really struggled during his therapy sessions, and at the end, after everyone had left, he just shut down and tuned out the world. He wasn't tired, he wasn't hungry, he wasn't just being a toddler. He needed to be alone and quiet the chaos in his mind and throughout his body.

This has only happened a few other times, at least that I can remember noticing, but he never really isolated himself in this way those times. It was heartbreaking to see him like this. I wanted nothing more than to comfort him, but he wouldn’t even let me talk to him, never mind hug him. He eventually just curled up on the chair, asked for his tablet, and zoned out while watching cartoons. 

I felt helpless and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t like seeing him this way. I gave him some space and some time, though, to do his thing. After a few hours or so, he started coming around. He asked me for a snack and wanted me to sit next to him while he watched his cartoons. At one point, he even put his head on my shoulder and said “Thank you, momma.” I’m not sure what he was thanking me for, but I took it as more of his way of saying “I love you”. 

As each day passes, I can see his behaviors change more and more, some better and some worse. It is most definitely a learning process for the both of us. Some moments we celebrate, and others, like today, bring us down. 

Just like the behind the scenes of a movie, these bad days are the ones that most people don't see, hear, or know anything about. If everyone had an inside look, I can guarantee that people’s thoughts, ideas, and opinions on autism would change greatly. It is not like what you see on tv. It is also not the same for each person. At some point in everyone’s life they have heard the classic saying, “Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes...”. Well, that saying could not be more fitting for those who struggle with autism, and their families. 

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