Holidays & Cast Breaks

Last week we celebrated Christmas. We spent the day at home, just the four of us, because everyone has been sick with this never ending flu that’s going around. With Avery’s cast change coming up, we had to make sure he wasn’t going to be catching anything that would cause his appointment to have to be canceled again. It’s just one of the many sacrifices families have to make when they have a casted child. 

In the beginning of this holiday season, I had a difficult time finding that Christmas spirit. My dad was the one who made this time of year magical for all of us. Since losing him, it hasn’t been the same for me. Then, I realized Christmas morning, I really didn’t have to look too hard for it. It was right there in front me, in the heart of Avery. From hearing him scream with excitement when the tree went up, watching him become mesmerized by the glow of the lights, and listening to him laugh and giggle as he opened presents Christmas morning. I not only saw the Christmas spirit in him, I saw my dad. He brought the magic back to the holiday, and made it one of the best I’ve had in a long time. 

Christmas 2017

On Friday, we were lucky enough to get what felt like a second Christmas. Avery got his cast off for the weekend. We’ve been enjoying tons of squishy hugs and cuddles, and also having lots of fun at bath time. I do have to say, though, that it has also been an emotional time. Probably more difficult than when he was about to get his first cast put on. I was warned by other parents and caregivers that there would be moments like this, but I didn’t quite understand the emotions they spoke of until experiencing it myself.

Tomorrow, we will be heading back to Boston for cast #3, and every time I think of it I just want to break down and cry. I’m so ready for this to be all done and over with. I'm tired of having to explain things to people that they will not understand, because they have never experienced any of this. I'm tired of not being able to hug my baby like other mothers get to with their children, because all I feel when I do hug him is cast. All cast, and not much else. I'm tired of appointments, sponge baths, and caring for that damn cast to make sure it stays clean and dry. You can tell us that everything will be ok, that things could be worse, or any of those other “feel good” comments people throw out at us all of the time, but, even though we are grateful for all of the support, those words don’t change how we feel. 

Will he be ok? I’m sure he will be, and I have a lot of faith and trust in his doctor to make sure he will be ok. The cast, though, like most medical treatments, isn’t a guaranteed cure. We just have to pray and keep our fingers crossed that it is doing its job and correcting Avery’s spine. Could things be worse? Absolutely. But this is bad enough for us, and we really don’t want to be going through all of this and watching our son go through with it. 

Lately, I just keep thinking about how much this kid amazes me every day. Despite the issues he’s been going through, and the frustration and struggles of living with wearing a cast, he is still probably the happiest child you will ever meet. People say that he gets his strength from his family, but these days I think it’s been the other way around. I can’t speak for the rest, but I truly feel like I have found my strength through him. Every time I see that smile of his or hear his laugh...I find my strength again. 

I hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year. Sending all of our love, from our family to yours.